Guilt T_T

After the cruel break up (what i think).. guilt just haunts me where ever i go.. i can't get him out of my freaking head.. gosh.. i didn't know if he forgave me or not..  i broke up by sending a text message.. cause i was such a coward to tell him myself.. but after the text message was sent.. i waited and waited for days for him to reply.. but a week and half later.. he responded.. he wrote what appeared like a poem.. by the time i red it.. it was a relief plus a heart stabbing moment.. a relief that he understood me.. it was heart stabbing because he was hurt because of me.. by the meaning of the poem he wrote.. it appears like he was really hurt.. i didn't like the mistake that i've done this time..  we did chat on facebook.. but not like the usual.. it was awkward.. but he did said that i was forgiven.. but eventhough he said that.. i'm still not convinced.. i was guilty.. i blame my self for what has happened.. even my friend told me that i's not my fault.. but still.. i  fell like it is my fault.. i can't just blame him.. i know he did hurt my feelings.. he did cheated on me.. he did ignored me.. but still it was my fault.. i can't bare to see someone hurt because of me.. i don't care if i got hurt.. but i can't.. i just can't see anyone hurt because of me.. but i thank all my buddies that support me all the way to always be strong.. thank you guys.. especially http://juziana.blogspot.com/ (Adrina) she's awesome.. luv ya my lovely sistah!  gosh.. sometimes i wonder why did feelings exist.. if feelings exist just to end up in missery i think i'll take the chance living without any feelings.. but sometimes watching my buddies happy with their companion makes me happy.. they look cute together.. but me.. i think i'll just live solo.. ^_^ well that's all.. chiao miha..