what happened to us?

We used to be friends.. best friends.. you moved and left me alone in this cruel world.. even worse you left without saying goodbye.. i thought you had something towards me.. but i was wrong.. months felt like years without you.. i didn't forget you.. but i suppose you already forgotten about me.. months past you finally decided to contact me back.. but it wasn't like how we used to be.. awkwardness existed between us.. i hated it.. i consider you moved on.. so did i.. once i got a hold of myself you came back.. why? after all this time.. you denied our friendship.. you ignored me one you found new friends.. you forgotten about our memories together.. you were the one who protected me.. you were the one who always cheered me up.. what happened to all of that? you've changed.. a lot.. you're not like the person i used to know.. you said you had feelings towards me before you moved.. and yes i admit it.. i did have a drop of feelings towards you.. i didn't show because i like the way we were friends. now everything has changed.. yes we are together.. but from my point of view.. it dosen't seem like we are together.. yes its a long distance relationship.. but this relationship was supposed to make us closer.. but you always keep your distance.. always having boundaries. always avoiding me.. now ignoring me.. i feel like i'm nothing to you.. i feel like we never even met.. do you even care for me? do i ever cross your mind? don't you remember our precious memories together back then? do you even love me like the way you said it? or is it just another lie you made up? what did i do to deserve this? is it because of revenge because someone else got to me first before you? i don't know but after all the things you did.. i don't know why i feel the pain stabbing my heart and crushing it into million pieces.. i don't know if i still love you or not? if you want revenge congrats cause you've got it.. i asked permission to let me go.. but you didn't want to.. what do you want exactly? you want to torture me? or do you really love me? tell me the truth because i can't live in questions forever.. if i can just tell you what i really feel.. you'll get hurt and i'll never forgive myself for what i have done.. it's my fault that i accepted that propose.. we should have stayed as friends... its my mistake that i didn't see that coming.. its my fault that i ignored you.. its my fault that this happened.. i'm the one to blame.. but i won't ever let you get hurt because of me.. for that i can bare the pain and carry this burden and let you live your happy life.. i don't know but maybe i still love you.. and i'm so sorry if i did something that hurt you feelings. i'm so sorry..